Faith

It's been awhile since any one's posted here so I thought I'd give it a shot. I don't have much time...the kids are quiet but how long will that last? I've been thinking about faith quite a bit lately. Not just faith as in knowing there's a God and knowing that He lives but faith in my daily life and faith in raising my children. As I've gotten older I've become aware that there's a big difference between church faith and faith faith. It's not easily articulated but I'm going to give it a shot and see what you ladies think about it.

Since becoming a mother, I worried about every thing. The what ifs kept me up countless nights and made me second guess my every move. Am I enough, am I doing enough, am I teaching them enough? Basically, I've become a fearful being. Me, who's always been the first to face a challenge head on, had become a person ruled by fear when it came to my children. Then I noticed how carefree other mothers seemed to be. They weren't neglecting their children or ignoring dangers but they weren't consumed with the dangers like I seemed to be. What was I missing?

Then a few weeks ago, I had an opportunity to go to Relief Society (something I rarely get to do) and someone mentioned that fear is the absence of faith. Of course I've heard that statement before but it never sunk in until that moment. Faith, the deeper faith was what I was missing. Not that I didn't have faith but...it wasn't applied to my daily life. I prayed for my children and their safety but didn't have the trust that followed that my children were being looked after. Of course that doesn't mean that if I pray for them, they can play in the street all day and still be safe but I have to let go a little and trust that the Lord knows what He's doing and He wants them as safe as I do. This has been a huge lesson for me.

President Monson puts it in better words when he says, "Of course, we will face fear, experience ridicule, and meet opposition. Let us have the courage to defy the consensus, the courage to stand for principle. Courage, not compromise, brings the smile of God’s approval. Courage becomes a living and an attractive virtue when it is regarded not only as a willingness to die manfully, but also as a determination to live decently. A moral coward is one who is afraid to do what he thinks is right because others will disapprove or laugh. Remember that all men have their fears, but those who face their fears with dignity have courage as well."(Pres. Monson May 2004 Liahona) He's talking about fear overall and I love where he says that facing your fears with dignity is courage. I guess that's what I'm doing. Letting my sweet babies into the world without an embedded tracking device or hidden cameras following their every move and making sure they're safe but trusting and hoping they are.

This talk is amazing and talks about letting go of fear and despair and turning to faith and hope.
"Hope is not knowledge, but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promise to us. It is confidence that if we live according to God’s laws and the words of His prophets now, we will receive desired blessings in the future. It is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance." President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. We've been told that if we walk with 'faith in every footstep' we will be blessed. How can that not extend to the sweet spirits we're called to protect. We must walk by faith. That means stepping into the dark unknowns because we believe that Heavenly Father is awaiting us.

Lessons from Laman and Lemuel

We have this ward challenge to read the Book of Mormon in 2 months-- seriously, this has been really hard for me because it is like 5 or 6 chapters a day. If you miss your reading for a few days, you feel overwhelmed because you have so far to catch up to.

I had one of those moments, though, when I was grateful for my reading and the thoughts it brought to forefront of my mind. My husband is a surgical resident (i.e. he works a load of hours), he's Elder's Quorum President, and we have 3 small children. At times I feel totally alone and overwhelmed. To top things off he has worked as the 'night float' for 2 months now: this means he's working 6 PM- 6 AM (though he get's home around 9:00 AM usually), 6 nights a week. The rest of his existence is spent sleeping, falling asleep, or talking about going to sleep.

A few weeks ago, my son left left a hose on near our window well. When my husband came outside, he panicked (you see: we've left the hose on before and a basement flood was the result). When he rushed downstairs, the trickling noise coming from the wall indicated the worst: water was gushing in under the floorboards.

In the ensuing panic, several thoughts crossed my mind: 1) Why is this happening to me (again)? 2) Doesn't Heavenly Father really know how hard life is for me right now? 3) How could Heavenly Father let this happen-- this is too much for me right now?

As my mind was going through these complaints, the words of Laman and Lemuel that I had read just a week before came echoing into my head, "Thou hast declared unto us hard things, more than we are able to bear." (1 Nephi 16:1).

At this moment it struck me that I was taking the attitude of Laman and Lemuel-- complaining against Heavenly Father, instead of rejoicing in his goodness. In most of my Book of Mormon readings, I generally empathize with Nephi and consider myself to be more like him. I've never conciously caught myself in the attitude like Laman and Lemuel. This was a great wake-up call for me. I remembered furthur reading about Laman and Lemuel and it seemed that when the trials arose, that was when the murmuring began. Hmmm, a bow breaks (my son floods the basement), let's tie up our brother and kill our father (I chastise my Heavenly Father for making things too rough for me).

I don't want to take a Laman and Lemuel attitude in life. When I caught myself doing so, I tried to change my perspective. Instead of complaining to Heavenly Father about how hard this was I thought of the good things: we caught the flood early, we've had a flood before so we know what to do about it, my husband was actually around (and awake) that morning. With a quick change of attitude, this trial suddenly didn't seem so horrible.

My testimony was also strengthened and renewed. I was reminded how important it is to read the scriptures frequently so words can resonate in your mind and help you out in your own life.

To War or Not to War

I apologize if this is a controversial topic, but I've been thinking a lot about it lately and I just want to hear everyone's opinion, and this is a great place to share.

I've been bored this week-- my husband is a surgical resident and has been gone for 8 days in a row--home around midnight and gone at 5-- so I've been spending my free time at nights surfing the old www (yes, I know, I should have been doing laundry or dishes or something else-- but mindless surfing is fun for me). Anyway, don't ask me how I got here, but I fell into reading some Catholic and Christian bloggers take on the war in Iraq. The consensus on this issue is anything but that-- there is no agreement whatsoever. Some people cite Joshua's "preemptive" strike at Jericho as justification for why we could be in Iraq (they were evil, being led by Satan) while other people cite Jesus's sermons (and strong example) about loving our enemies.

I was looking at a scripture in Exodus 21:12-14 which reads: "He that smiteth a man, so that he die, shall be surely put to death. And if a man lie not in wait, but God deliver him into his hand; then I will apoint thee a place whither he shall flee. But if a man come presumptuously upon his neighbour, to slay him with guile; thou shalt take hime form mine altar, that he may die." While I was reading this I thought, basically "People that kill other people may deserve the death penalty, and sometimes if someone is "presumptuously" ready to kill, he too, will deserve to die." (that is, of course, a small paraphrase).

As members of the LDS church, I think we've got another 'handy' book (aka BOM) which may help elucidate God's feelings about war. I am thinking mainly of the the war chapters in Alma. I haven't yet delved into them looking for answers, but I am remembering the imperatives from God which basically said that if the Nephites were to defend themselves from robbers or Lamanites, they would be victorious, but if they were to "pre-emptively strike" God would not be with them. To me, in these circumstances, a 'pre-emptive strike' by the Nephites would have been the outward action of malicious intent and hatred-- thus the 'no support' dictum from God.

Anyway, I am going to go back and look at these scriptures and try to find some answers because on one hand, I really thought Saddam was so wicked and working towards goals of killing others for gain, while on the other-- I am not sure America was in imminent danger when we went into Iraq. Were we justified in our actions?

I would like to open this up to friendly and doctrinal discussion and hopefully we can learn something from each other. In the end, we might not figure out if war was justified or not, but at least we will learn something, I hope!

Any thoughts, any takers?

How did May go so quickly?! Wow. Well, what are you all thinking lately? I would love to know!

Stake Conference

This lovely weekend my stake was restructured. Elder Nielson of the Seventy and Elder Bednar were sent to call the new Stake President. What an amazing insightful experience it was. During the adult session, Paul and I were frantically taking notes- it seemed like everything they said was new and personally applicable. Here is a running thought...

Elder Nielson discussed a meeting of the Seventy that he attended while Elder Maxwell was alive. He said Elder Maxwell asked the group, "If all your children knew about the Gospel was what you personally have taught them... how much would they know?"

That is a very poignant question. My first thought was, "luckily, I have been with all of my children in Primary since they have been in Primary." But now, after pondering that thought for a day, I have learned that it is not Sunday that he was asking about. My instruction should be constant, both spoken and unspoken- Sunday should be a time for review of what I have already taught them, not new information.

In the very next hour, Elder Bednar said, "we cannot sit back and be casual about our children. Satan is not sitting around hoping they will choose his side; he is kicking and pitching and fighting to make them his. We cannot force or compel our children, but, parents, you better be pitching and doing all you can."

Elder Bednar spoke a lot about moral agency, explaining that, "Agency was given to us to choose the right (Moses 7:32). Once agency is used to enter into a covenant (which is a contract where the terms and conditions are set by God), agency is exhausted. Now, we must keep the promise made."

If I can teach my children one thing, it is this very clear and very misunderstood doctrine. It is a doctrine that helps me "pitch" the Gospel and gives understanding to them of why we choose the right. They chose to come to earth- they entered into a covenant before they were born (i.e. agreed to the terms God established- Abraham 3:25, 26) and now have a body. Their agency is exhausted in that choice. Their life must now be spent proving themselves.

I was truly humbled, chastised and comforted by the Holy Ghost this weekend. The "spoken" lessons were ones I will be teaching my children. The "unspoken" lessons (but just as clearly heard by my heart) were ones I was taught. I should be living and strengthening my testimony and understanding of these powerful doctrines. I was comforted to know that as long as we are finding joy in doing what is right, the Lord can teach us and correct us.

I will be studying this topic of moral agency and ask for this to be our new topic (some scripture refernces above). Please send me any thoughts or talks on the subject! Thanks!

Can the Atonement be simplified?

I was touched by the quote Sarah included from Hugh Nibley. I am forced to wonder if I am someone who truly does NOT understand the atonement in its entireity. It is humbling to think I am someone who has been charged with the task to teach the children in our ward gospel truths--including this topic.

When I recently tried to explain the Atonement to our (junior) Primary children (ages 3-6) (we've got a lot of little kids in our ward), I struggled trying to find an analogy that they might grasp. After much thought it occured to me that Christ's Atonement was his way of serving our "time-outs." Even small children know that when they hit a friend, throw food on the ground, yell at mom, or tease a sibling, their punishment is set and in many homes, involves a punishment like a time-out. No matter how hard my kids beg not to go to time-out when they've done something wrong, there is no negotiation. They did the crime, now they must do the time.

In the case of the Atonement, the "crime" has been done by each of us--the crimes are many and varied, in some case they are sins of omission. No matter the misdeed, however, Christ serves our time-out for us, and we reap the reward--the eventual chance to become a God ourselves! This is the most amazing example of selfless service I can think of. Christ does not withold his "time-out serving" for anyone, no matter how despicable the person or the sin.

The kids "got" this concept, but I would like YOUR help with something. I believe it is in Alma (I'll try to look this up later) that we learn that Christ not only suffered for our sins, but he also took upon himself our sadness, sorrows, infirmities, and sickness. How does this knowledge fit into my little "time-out" analogy?

Also, I'd like any other ideas you have for teaching children about the Atonement.

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter and that you are anxiously awaiting General Conference! Not too many comments on the previous topic of the Atonement! While I was pondering an explanation for this (which definitely included all your busy, fabulous lives) I remembered this great quote from Hugh Nibley,
"So cool has been the reception of the message of the Atonement that through the centuries, while heated controversy and debate have raged over evolution, atheism, the sacraments, the Trinity, authority, predestination, faith and works, and so on, there has been no argument or discussion at all about the meaning of the Atonement. Why were there no debates or pronouncements in the synods? People either do not care enough or do not know enough to even to argue about it."

The group that is a part of this blog most assuredly is NOT made up of people who do not care. But even in studying that beautiful talk by Elder Bednar on merely the enpowering aspect of the Atonement, I learned a ton of new things. There is so much to learn, to study, to know.

Bruce R. McKonkie said, "The Atonement of Christ is the most basic and fundamental doctine of the gospel, and it is the least understood of all our revealed truths. Many of us have a superficial knowledge and rely upon the Lord and his goodness to see us through the trials and perils of life. But if we are to have faith like that of Enoch and Elijah, we must believe what they believed, know what they knew, and live as they lived.
May I invite you to join with me in gaining a sound and sure knowledge of the Atonement."

I love that very peronal invitation! Last Sunday, my Bishop bore his testimony and challenged our ward to study the Atonement (I always find it fascinating that when you are studying a specific topic, it pops up everywhere). So, let's keep this a running topic- and as you gain new insight on the scope of the Atonement... share!

Here we are. A new item to discuss. Let's try faith. Start with Alma 32 and the definition of faith in Mormon Doctrine. Thanks to all of you for your help in making this a positive, enriching experience!